Tomorrow at 4 p.m. marks the 11th annual Pickle Fest at Bagel Street Deli. For those of you who have no idea what Pickle Fest is (I assume most of you), Pickle Fest is a pickle eating competition in which competitors are split into groups of 10 and frantically devour as many pickles as they can in 10 minutes. The winner of each heat receives a t-shirt, but the pickle champion gets to make and name their own sandwich that will forever be a part of BSD's menu. I know what you're thinking, what better way to end the morose winter season than with a good ol' fashioned pickle eating contest? I feel the same way. I mention this event because I will be making my debut in this competition. I'm still not exactly sure what I'm getting myself into or if I have any chance of winning, but I have a feeling that just the spectacle will be enough to satisfy me.
Signing up to participate in this contest has given me a look at a very peculiar subculture: competitive eaters. In my pickle eating research, I stumbled upon a world pickle eating champion named "Chowhound." He gave me the proper technique to winning. It's called the "wood chipper." I also discovered that drinking excessive amounts of water and eating cabbage are common strategies for professional eaters. Chewing gum is very important because it strengthens your jaw muscles.
With all of my training and hard work, all I can hope for is to go out there and show those pickles who's boss. It won't be easy; I've accepted that. But hopefully next time you hear from me I'll have my own sandwich, a new t-shirt and an immense amount of pride and honor. Wish me luck!
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